Nightmares

Does anyone else have nightmares?? Because I have nightmares. And I don't just mean *bad dreams*, I'm talking *so real, so scary, still scared when you wake up, shaking, make you wanna cry* nightmares. And I think as an adult, I'm actually capable of having more terrifying dreams than children, because they're realistic(ish).

When Trent and I were first married, we watched a lot of Criminal Minds at night. I had a LOT of nightmares. Like Trent knew we'd have to cuddle and talk for at least 30 min before sleeping if we watched it before bed. And even then, I still usually had nightmares. I'm now terrified of handicapped people, thanks to that show. I had to stop watching Criminal Minds. I'm not a paranoid person, it didn't ruin my daytime life, but waking up shaking and sweating and so scared, was not my idea of a good night sleep.

Trent thinks it's crazy that I have nightmares as an adult. Quite frankly, so do I. I don't think I had this many nightmares as a kid. Only two recurring ones I can think of. Yet, nightmares I have.

So preamble over, I've had a couple this week.

First nightmare: I woke up in the night and went to the bathroom, and coming back to bed saw a man at the spare bedroom window. I hurried to Trent, in bed, and told him someone was trying to break in. He told me no and not to worry. Then we heard something, and I'm a little more adamant that it's a man trying to break in!  Trent flips into protective mode and tells me to hide under the covers while he goes to check it out. I hear noises and scrapping as two men are arguing and fighting with Trent. Then Trent gets drug into the room and I hear one of the men angrily talking about Trent owing him $500 000. Trent says he doesn't have anywhere near that amount of money and the man says, well we'll just have to take your wife as collateral than. My heart stops. Can they tell I'm in the bed? I'm half shoved down the side of the bed against the wall with Trent's blankets scrunched up like he had pushed them there when he got out of bed. My blanket is scrunched up itself in my own spot, hopefully making them think I also got out of bed. I stop breathing. They can't take me. I'm terrified. Trent yells and fights them more. And then I hear a shot. A body hits the floor. I hear the man tell the other man to find me. Trent is dead?! I want to scream. I can't move. I have to get away. Can they see that I'm hiding here? I think I can hear where they are in the room and think I can get to the bedroom door if they're caught by surprise. But will they be surprised? I shove the blankets off and spring off the bed in one effort. I evade a grabbing arm, and the two men start yelling. Only in my peripheral vision, I see a flash of an image of Trent crumpled on the floor. I choke. I keep running.

I make it outside and start looking for somewhere to go for help. I see dim lights in a building and a security guard of some sort walking inside. I can hear a man behind me, but I don't look. I head for the building screaming and yelling and trying to get the guards attention. The guard sees me and opens the door and I run past, shoving the door shut and telling her to lock it. The man hits the door, yelling and swearing and trying to get in. The guard is startled and scared, but I grab her and tell her we have to get away, does she have a car out back? Yes. Good. We have to get out of here. The guard isn't a very old girl - woman? But we scramble out back and get in her car and take off. The rest of the dream is a terrifying pursuit. A terrifying whirlwind of driving and crashing and swimming and running and barely getting away, and not being able to kill the bad guy, even when I try.

I eventually wake up from this, terrified. I look over and see Trent laying there, sleeping, not dead. I want to wake him up. I want to cry. I sigh instead. I hate nightmares. Hate them.



And just so I don't ruin your day entirely with this horror show...
Second Nightmare: I don't remember exactly what I did, but I think I was wearing a retainer to straighten my teeth a little, but when I took it out, my front teeth were all loose. I don't mean a little loose, like braces loose. I mean piano keys loose. I start freaking out, I can't lose my teeth. I push them back into position and try to put the retainer back on, but it doesn't fit. I have to take it off to reposition my teeth, but taking it off only makes it worse. My sister Michelle is with me, trying to calm me down and help, but I'm a mess of freaking out. Then, as I'm trying to move and position them, my lateral incisor comes out. OUT! I'm freaking out. The root is all bent goofy, I don't even know how it came out. It shouldn't have been able to fall out like that. I try to shove it back in, but it won't go. I wake up. I bite my teeth together and everything feels solid. Hallelujah!

Moments I love about my job

That moment when I spend an hour talking quantum physics and 90's cartoons with a 17 year old boy with a voice as deep as a 40 year old, and get a thumbs up and "That was fun!" in the end.

That moment when I get to reminisce and discuss highschool rugby with a 26 year old patient that gets it.

That moment when I see a patient that only comes to the dentist every 4 years, and while working he tells me it feels so good and he loves coming to this office - than why do you only come every 4 years? Oh the irony.

That moment when my patient tells me she couldn't brush her teeth for a year because she was pregnant.

That moment when my patient tries to show me all of his tattoos.

That moment when my patient hasn't had x-rays in 2 years because they're so harmful, but I convince him it really would be a good idea to check things now, only to find a MASSIVE cavity that wouldn't have been found without the x-ray. Boom.

That moment when my patient tells me he only brushes the outside of his teeth because he figures his tongue cleans the inside.

That moment when my patient has the starts of ten cavities in between her teeth and she realizes she should probably start flossing.

That moment when my patient tells me she swishes with water after she eats to clean her teeth so she doesn't have to brush.

That moment when my patient tells me her tooth was broken and hurting so she took a few advil and pulled it out with pliers.

That moment when my patient says he uses toothpicks instead of floss.

That moment when my 4 year old patient throws up trying to take the first x-ray, takes a minute, then carries on like a champ, gets his x-rays done and lets me clean and check his teeth without a single complaint.

That moment when my patient tells me I'm a real head-turner.

That moment when my patient says they'll only come back if I'm the one doing their cleaning.

That moment when this can all happen in one week.

If I had a million dollars

It must be spring because for the past couple weeks I have been dying to throw out all my clothes and get new ones. Piece by piece, day by day, I keep adding an old hoodie, a t-shirt I never wear, a skirt I think I love but never put on, to a pile in my closet. It will all be gone soon. I might even go through my shoes. Maybe.

Also, there are SO many things I want to spend money on right now! I can't escape the list of things in my head that I want to buy:

- A new swimsuit. Or two. Or maybe three. I have found so many great swimsuits. I love love love swimsuits. They're fun and remind me of summer and I love the hot sun, water combo. I have a couple that need throwing out (not just because I'm bored, I've actually worn them thread bare), so obviously I need to replace them. I'm currently just trying to justify how expensive some of my favourites I've found are. *sigh*

- Clothes, clothes, clothes. From Moddest is hottest specifically today. I visited her facebook page and I just want to drop major dollars at her place. Shirts, skirts, dresses, belts... I'm so bored of my clothes, and I know I don't wear half of it. I can't decide whether it's because it was a warm winter so I didn't even touch my sweaters and long sleeves, or if I legitimately just need to chuck most of them. But we just got posted in COLD Lake, so I should probably hold on to warm things... right? I might not anyways.

- An apron. This might sound like I'm stretching for things to list, but no seriously. Maybe you'll understand better if you visit www.flirtyaprons.com . I specifically am eyeing sugar n' spice and very cherry, but their country/vintage-inspired ones are all awesome, too. I love to bake. And baking involves flour. And me with flour... we're tight. And by tight, I mean we're all over each other. It's inevitable. I love to bake. Therefore I need an apron. What good baker - and housewife - doesn't have an apron, right? And I have a code to get 30% off until Easter! Obviously I must get one.

- Books for my kindle. So many good books. I already caved and bought a skin for my kindle. Necessary? No. I already have a good case for it, but this will make it colourful and pretty when I open it to read... and it will protect it from getting scratched... yeah...


- itunes. With springtime, also comes my need for new music. I'm bored of my music and need a serious re-vamp. If Colton and Phil on American Idol put out CD's today, I'd buy them. And maybe Heejun too, depending on what he did. I want to buy some of their AI stuff already. But overall, I just need new music. Any good new music will do. And by new, I mean new to me. I've never been a guru - I know there's tons out there I need to hear.

So much splurging I'd like to do. Speaking of splurging, that's another store I wouldn't mind visiting... Why this is all hitting me at once? Who knows. Trent and I definitely aren't going to stay on our get out of debt fast track if I give in to my list... I'll have to pace myself... but which to start with?! How do you choose?? I want it all. And waiting on military info has taken all my patience, I have none left. I want to be frivolous. I even peer-pressured Trent (as he calls it) into buying a new suit a couple days ago. He only has a dark brown and a light tan suit - I mean really. The boy needed a good dark suit. Besides, he's graduating, he needs to look GOOD. And he will in this suit. It's beautiful. He looks great in it. It's a dark navy that you might think was black unless beside a black, with subtle green and blue pinstriping perfect for Trent's eyes. Put the right blue or green shirt with it and BAM - beauty. I love it. Possibly more than Trent does. But let's be serious, that boy never buys clothes - so it's my responsibility to keep him looking good. I mean, he's going to be a dentist next month. NEXT MONTH. Whoa. So excited. Maybe that's why I want to spend all of our money - because I know in a month we'll actually be making real money. Now THAT will feel good. Even if it is all slotted to get rid of debt. I can do a LITTLE celebrating with it first... right?

"You're going where??"

Cold Lake was first recorded on a map in 1790, by the name of Coldwater Lake.

The town of Cold Lake became a city in 2000.

Population 13,924.

82% of that population is Christian.

The Conservative party always wins majority provincially and nationally.

294km northeast of Edmonton. 170km north of Lloydminster.

The city's economy is inextricably linked to military spending at CFB Cold Lake. Every year Cold Lake hosts military forces from around the world for Exercise Maple Flag, a training exercise where pilots and support staff of NATO allies can take advantage of the Air Weapons Range and relatively open rural air space.

Kinosoo Beach is a favorite destination during the hot summer months between June and August.

Temperatures average 23 degrees in the summer and -21 in the winter.

"Truly the retail hub of the Lakeland, you'll find what you're looking for in Cold Lake. Whether you're hunting for a deal in our box stores, prefer to get your shopping done under one roof at the Tri-City Mall or visiting our one of a kind shops and boutiques downtown and around the lakeshore, our business community is a diverse one."

Sounds exciting, right? It better. It's where I'm going to be spending the next 3 years of my life. Adventures await! Pending that Trent passes his psych evaluation to make sure he'll be able to handle a posting to a semi-remote base... Why don't they think it's important to psych eval the wife? I feel like I'm the one that's going to feel semi-remote... Hopefully I'll have more information soon!

Hola Grandpa!

I want a Spanish grandpa. I had an elderly patient the other day, but not just any old patient. This patient is from El Salvador and awesome.

From the second I called his name in the waiting room, he gave me a big crinkly eyed smile and I loved him. I started with my usual, "Hi, my name is Cathy, I did your cleaning in September, if you remember me?" He looks at me and says, "Cad-ty, of course I remember you. You are - unforgettable." Loves him.

He's been here since the 70's, but his English is still not so good. He has to remind me to speak slowly so he knows what I'm saying. So we spent the appointment laughing and talking. I shared my minimal spanish and he said it was muy bien. At the end of the appointment he said something in Spanish, when I asked him what that meant, he said, "Your hands are like silk. They are beautiful at their job." "Muchos gracias!" "Ahhh! De nada, de nada!" Loves him.

Spanish men are known to be full of flattery. I love it. I want him to be my grandpa. There's something to be said for being positive. He was such a happy man. I love him. He's probably one of the only patients I am genuinely sad I will not be seeing in six months. I have a lot of great patients, don't get me wrong, but this man is a gem.